Κυριακή 8 Δεκεμβρίου 2013

What Do Meditation And Sex Have In Common?

Orgasms are a result of sensory stimulation that culminates in climactic bliss. It isn't difficult to comprehend why many yearn for such a blissful, albeit fleeting, state.

The goal of any species is to make more copies of itself. From an evolutionary standpoint, orgasm acts as a motivator, a reward, to reproduce. Why? Because physical union is the only means to "spread the seed" for many species. The desire to experience this unique sensation persuades us to reproduce because sex is the gateway to this euphoria. This is why when we are adolescents and young adults, a stage in out life with highest reproductive success, our minds strategically make this sensory gratification such a high priority.

As our reproductive capacity dwindles, so does our instinct to seek out a mate for physical union. While seemingly all animals possess this instinct, there's something special only humans have; the ability to interpret it, not merely experience it.

Now, why is this discussion important to the understanding of our health and well-being? Because understanding the orgasm helps us to understand ourselves. Yes, that is true. Keep reading:

The orgasm carries with it the esteemed connotation of absolute pleasure — it's placed on a pedestal of sexual euphoria. While we like to paint the sensation with graphic undertones of lust, the neurobiology of the climax is far less provocative.

At its core, the orgasm is much less about what it makes us feel than what it allows us NOT to feel. With all of the hype surrounding the sensation, we can't help but wonder: What is it about experiencing an orgasm that keeps us coming back for more?

Pleasure is typified by three things:

An escape from self-awareness: We are liberated from our burdensome egos. The weight of our constant internal criticism is lifted as our self-observer takes a brief hiatus from incessant doubt.

Decreased sense of pain: Relief from pain is an immediate trigger for the sensation of pleasure.

Alteration in bodily perception: Our inhibitions are lowered to the point of bliss. This break from self-scrutiny allows us a passing moment in a heavenly utopia.

The only other time we are able to feel such emancipating ecstasy is during an experience that is seemingly polar opposite to that of orgasm-inducing intercourse — meditation. "Bliss, both sacred and profane, shares the diminution of self-awareness," according to a popular study.

Meditation allows us to experience the trinity of bliss: decreased self-awareness, lowered inhibition, and elimination of pain. The only difference between orgasmic and meditative states is that while sex leads to the physical union of two individuals, meditative processes, like those practiced by Tibetan Buddhist monks, diminish self-awareness by allowing our mind to focus beyond self-identification and shift our focus to the macro universe. Meditation, like the orgasm, allows us to ignore the disruptions of emotion and focus on the experience at hand. In both cases, we are freed from the burden of self-preoccupation.

While the blissful corporal experience resulting from an orgasm has an evolutionary purpose (to make more humanity), the reason behind such a blissful state is due to diminution of self-awareness that can be re-experienced at a mental level by practicing mindful meditation.

Meditation allows us to shift our attention from our ego-driven selves to the world around us. Try to make it a habit to remove the distractions of incessant self-critiquing.

Sacred or profane, the reason behind such a blissful experience is going beyond the confines of self-identification. Expand your awareness. Take time each day to think about the world around you; take a break from always thinking emotionally about yourself.

 
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com

Παρασκευή 6 Δεκεμβρίου 2013

Five Meaningful Methods of Meditation

In my last article, A Layman’s Guide to Mindful Meditation, we discussed the “why” of meditation. In this article we will discuss the “how.” There’s a myriad of methods for meditation. Some are easy and some are difficult. All require daily practice to perfect. Here are five of the most popular methods of meditation and what they each bring to the Meditation Table. Here’s why You Should Mix them for Maximum Mindfulness.
Mindfulness, or Spiritual Method:
A most popular method comes from Buddhistmeditation practice of Vipassana. It’s all about practicing detachment from each thought and being centered in the “here and now.” It focuses onsituational awareness and “in the moment” presence. There is also a focus on communion with the cosmos, which can translate to prayer, but not necessarily. The best way to commune with the universe is to ask questions as opposed to seeking answers. In the mindfulness method, answers are mere side-effects of good questioning.
How to: One can practice mindfulness in any position, even lying down. The key is presence with the present moment, and clear and concise communion with the cosmos.


Zen or Zazen Method:
Also from the Buddhist tradition, this method is all about simply sitting. It is often done for long periods of time. Its focus is mostly on posture and spine alignment with minimal focus on breathing techniques. It is the most monastic of all the methods and is therefore difficult to make progress in. Most monks practice this method while concentrating on a Zen koan or spiritual parable.
How to: The most effective positioning of the body for the practice of Zazen is the stable, symmetrical position of the seated Buddha. Keeping the back straight and centered, pretend a silver thread is pulled taut through your spine and up through your head, connecting to the ceiling.

Kundalini or Transcendental Method:
This method comes from the Vedanta Hinduism tradition and ties into different forms of Yoga practices. It focuses more on breathing patterns than the previous methods, using the power of breathing to launch one into a higher sense of self, or even a transformation of self. The electromagnetic field created by the human body is akin to the electromagnetic field created by the Earth. Transcendental method is all about tapping into the stream of energy naturally created by the relationship between the human body’s energy chakraswith the environment’s energy vortexes. The main focus of this method is to ride this rising stream into infinity, to learn what needs to be learned, and then to return to the finite realms with new-knowledge in tow.
How to: Breathing is primary. Positioning is secondary. Relax your body, take three deep breaths; then proceed to take deep breaths and hold them for at least ten seconds each. This allows for the oxygen to cleanse the chakras and then release toxins through exhalation, while increasing kundalini energy.
Qigong Method or Movement Method:
This method comes from the Taoist tradition. It is all about hyper-focus on breathing techniques and/or bodily movements to cultivate and maintain life energy. This is the most philosophical of the methods, deriving most of its techniques from martial arts and meditative healing methods. It focuses on moving Qi (life force) through the body through focused breathing, mental techniques, and precise movements. This method is all about the balance and equilibrium of both inner and outer forces.
How to: No matter what Qi exercise you’re doing, imagine the Qi moving through your body as you breathe in an out. As you inhale through your nose, imagine the Qi moving through your body and down to your Lower Dantian, or naval area. As you exhale through your mouth imagine the Qi moving through the rest of your body. Repeat.

Drumming and/or Om Method:
This may be the oldest form of meditation known to humanity. The drumming method is typically used by native and aboriginal cultures, and is generally shamanic in nature. The Om method is traditionally from Vedanta Hinduism, though the sound itself is fairly universal to mankind. These methods focus on breathing and heart rhythm in accordance with, or even dissonance with, the sound and feel of the percussion or mantra.
The heart beat itself is a drum. Breathing is a drum beat that we can control. These two methods are all about transformation through vibration and the awareness of cosmic frequencies. Shamans often use drum meditation to cross physical, mental, and spiritual thresholds. It’s a bridge that carries them to a higher sense of self in accordance with the greater cosmos.
How to: Create a sacred place. Clear your mind. Breathe with intent. If you’re the drummer, infuse your intention into the drum before drumming. Begin playing or listening to the drum. Give yourself a few minutes to fall into rhythm with the beat. Fade your drumming into silence, feeling your body’s response to the beat, then return to the drum. Repeat with clear intent.

There you have it: a minor helping of meditative methods. Each have specific techniques, but they all overlap in various ways. One of the keys to becoming a meditative master is to use all the methods to your advantage, while also allowing for personal creativity by giving your meditation a signature as unique as your own fingerprint.
Remember: the heartbeat that sustains your life is acting on the same frequency that sustains the universe. The heart with which you feel God is the same heart with which God feels you. May the Om be with you.
Image Source ~

Τετάρτη 4 Δεκεμβρίου 2013

5 Yoga & Meditation Techniques To Help You Practice Gratitude


To avoid overindulging and getting swept into the fast and ferocious current of social outingsextravagant desserts, and endless champagne cheering, let's make an intelligent game-plan to stay connected to your healthy lifestyle choices and goals this season.
Here are five wonderful yoga techniques to help you stay on your game during holiday festivities. Thanksgiving is such an energetically powerful time of the year—a time to cultivate sincere gratitude for the countless blessings in our lives. Here's how:
1. Walking meditation.
The holidays can be wonderfully overwhelming and sometimes we just need a little break from all of the social events and gatherings. If you find yourself feeling anxious, rushed, or over-extended, give yourself a gift of 10 to 15 minutes. Wherever you are, find a quiet escape (outside, around the block, etc.) to walk in silence.
The simple experience of alternating steps with the left and right foot naturally helps create a meditative state which helps you to become more present and grounded. Be mindful of each step. Allow yourself to notice your surroundings, such as grass, trees, chirping birds, and the sun on your face. To end the walking meditation, gradually come to a stop, and become aware of the feeling of standing still again. Notice how you feel now, compared to how you felt when you started. Take your newfound awareness and calm with you back to your festivities.
2. Prayer twisting.
Since we tend to eat more during the holidays, it's wise to focus on yoga postures that aid in digestion and detoxification. Twisting helps to detoxify our bodies by stimulating our liver and stimulating peristalsis. From crescent pose, rotate your torso, bringing the left elbow on the outside of your right knee.
Bring your palms together in a prayer position and press into them towards the floor, rotating your right shoulder up and back while twisting your upper back. Look towards the ceiling. Keep your right knee bent and keep the hips sinking down towards the floor. Hold for 5 to 8 deep breaths. Repeat on other side.
3. Bow pose.
Laying on your front side helps to bring blood-flow to your digestive organs, aiding in better digestion and assimilation of your food. Lie on your stomach with your feet hip-width apart and your arms along the sides of your body. Bend your knees and hold your ankles. Breathing in, lift your chest off the ground and pull your legs up and back. Look straight ahead, preferably with a smile on your face. After 5-8 deep breaths, gently bring your legs and chest to the ground. Release your ankles and relax. Repeat two more times.
4. Concentrated yogi bicycles.
  • Lie on your back. Lace your fingers behind your head. Keep your knees bent together above your hips.
  • Keeping your knees bend, sit up slightly. This is your inhale position.
  • As you exhale, try to touch the outside of your right arm to the outside of your left thigh while straightening your right leg. d) As you inhale, straighten your core and bring your knee back above your hips.
  • Repeat c on the other side.
  • Repeat 10 times, slowly, on each side.
  • Finish with concentrated bicycles: 1) Twice as fast in speed and 2) half the extension in your legs. Ex: Instead of extending the opposite leg while twisting, simply touch the toes of that foot to the floor or mat, keeping the knee bend. Repeat 20 times each side.
5. Gratitude meditation.
Cultivating and practicing gratitude can reduce symptoms of mild to moderate depression and anxiety, resulting in better mood and sleep. Practicing gratitude can also lead to increases in optimism, vitality, happiness, a sense of wellbeing, and a greater satisfaction with life and relationships. The holidays can be joyous for some and stressful, or even lonely for others.
In both cases, practicing thankfulness (even in times of adversity) helps one to seek and find a “silver lining” in all of their experiences. Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight and your eyes closed. Being to take deep, slow breaths. Once you feel centered and present, mentally list five things you are grateful for in your life and give your thankfulness to those people and/or things.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com

10 Tips & Tricks for Establishing a Regular Home Yoga Practice.

Giving yourself permission to just roll out your mat, and breathe.

My home yoga practice began in Glenorchy, on the deck of my Mum’s house during the spring of 2004. I was broken-hearted, broken-minded, just plain broke and desperate for anything that I could possibly do in the midst of all that brokenness.
In short, I knew I needed yoga.
But Glenorchy is a tiny township of only 250 people, nestled in the crook of converging mountain ranges at the tip of Lake Wakatipu. One road in, one road out.  Ain’t no yoga studios, and rarely any yoga classes going on there.
The only way I was going to experience yoga was if I did it myself. Hell, I didn’t even have any yoga videos or books, and the concept of online yoga hadn’t yet been birthed. Not in my awareness anyway.
So it was onto the front deck, and into sun salutations. A sequence I’d done enough of in various Ashtanga and general Hatha yoga classes to remember somewhat. No doubt I sucked terribly, but at least I was moving–away from brokenness and back to wholeness.
Seven years later, and my home practice has come a long way baby. It’s daily, it now includes pranayama, meditation, mantra, asana… and it totally rocks my world.
Which is why I’m here to share with you some of my tips and tricks for getting your yoga out of the studio, away from the class and into your home, ‘cos that’s when the real juice starts to flow.

1. Let go of all expectations. All of them.

No doubt you’ve been going to class for a while, and you think you’ve got a pretty good idea about what makes a yoga practice. Invariably it involves at least 60, if not 90 minutes on a yoga mat. Often it makes you sweat. Usually it involves working toward more and more challenging poses. Right?
Forget about it.
Holding on to these kinds of ideas about what a yoga practice is invariably leads to failure.  How often do you have a 90-minute chunk of spare time in your day? How do you think you’re going to remember all those sparkly sequences your teacher effortlessly reels off week after week?
Nope. Don’t expect your home practice to be… anything. At all. Forget about all ideas like:
It doesn’t count unless it’s 90 minutes long.
It doesn’t count unless I sweat.
It doesn’t count unless I do multiple variations of x–asana.
It doesn’t count unless…
Start with no idea at all about what your home practice will look like, feel like or be like. Blank slate. Beginner’s mind.
And realize that it all counts, which leads us to…

2. Giving yourself permission to just roll out your mat and breathe…

That’s it.
That’s all you need to do each and every day.
Get out your mat and sit on it. Or lie on it. Or stand on it. Whatever feels right to you today.
Breathe. And wait.
While you wait, check out the state of the nation–that’s you.
What’s your breath doing?
How does it feel in your body?
Where does it go in your body?
What does your body feel like?
Just get up close and intimate with the breath as it moves around the body. Understand that, eventually, giving yourself permission to just be will create space for yoga to happen.
Until then, though, you can use a few tricks to help it along.

3.  Set an intention.

Once you’ve got that sense of where you are today on the mat, taking into account things like the seasons, the lunar cycle, how busy you are, how exhausted you are or how energetic you are allow an intention to form.
Something simple like…
Today I want to soften.
Today I want to explore Warrior I.
Today I need to burn off some energy.
Today I need to replenish.
Today I want to play.
Whatever, it doesn’t matter what your intention is, just make it appropriate and real.
Toss the ego right out the door–no one is watching you, you’ve got nothing to prove, and if you can’t listen to your heart on the mat, then where will you be able to?
This intention is like setting your course for the adventure on the mat. It gives you something to set your sail to, although it doesn’t guarantee you’ll end up where you think you’re going.

4. Warm up.

Combine that intention of yours with movements that support where you think you’re going.
Be mindful of the whole body.
What does it take to get breath into every cell?
Sun salutations are an obvious warm up, but there’s many ways to work with the body. Give yourself permission to do what’s right for you.
Never underestimate the power of simple. Stay in Cat/Cow breath for ten minutes if it’s working for you. Take Child for half an hour if that’s what you need. Stand in one spot and shake it all about if that’s what comes to mind.
Trust those first flutters of intuition, even when they seem crazy or like they might not yoga.
At heart, your body knows what it needs. Listen to it.

5. Standing Poses, seated poses, backbends, twists, savasana.

That’s the basic class sequence, so if you’re stuck, come back to that. It’s just natural really.
Once the body is warm, you’ll likely feel like doing some standing poses. Don’t worry if you think you can’t remember what order they’re supposed to be done in. Keep coming back to your intention and just see which poses your body wants to do.
It doesn’t matter if you only do one standing pose. Sometimes that’s the day. It doesn’t matter if you do mainly standing poses. Sometimes that’s the day.
After that, hit the ground. Do some seated poses. Maybe some forward bends. Move into backbends now that you’re good and warmed up. Finish up with a twist and savasana. Nothing too complicated.
Whenever you don’t know what to do–which will be all the time at first–bring your awareness back to your breath and just feel it inside of your body.
Notice where it goes, notice where it gets stuck, let it guide you into posture.
Come back to your intention–ask what will support that. No good setting an intention to soften and then spending the whole time on the mat doing Warrior variations. Sure they’re great, but to soften… maybe you’re better off surrendering into forward bends.
If you notice that what your body feels like doing is different from the intention you set, ask yourself why? Was the intention set with the head? Or is the body avoiding what it needs? Always be the yogi–observing, questioning, noticing, accepting, loving.

6. Enjoy being able to take time in postures.

When you practice at home you’ve got the luxury of being able to take as long as you like to work your way into a posture, and as long as you like to stay within the posture and feel it. Enjoy this process. Surrender to this process. Let your breath be your guide, slow as it likes.
And then get curious about the posture. If you can’t remember if the thighs roll inward or outward, try it each way and see which one feels like it’s creating space.
Be an adventurer exploring the frontiers of the body from the inside out, like you’re the first one to ever do yoga and one day you’ll write about the process.
Mostly, trust that you know. Because you do, you know?

7. Don’t be constrained by how you think postures should look.

It’s so easy to get hung up on the idea that this is the way the pose is done. But we’ve all got different bodies, with different injuries and different proportions. Sometimes we’ll intuitively modify a posture to give us the exact opening that we need.
Of course, sometimes we’ll do the opposite too, and modify a posture to cheat a bit so we can avoid a tight or weak spot.
Thing is, you know which is which.
You know when you’re copping out, and when you’re not. So trust yourself when it feels right to explore a posture in a different way. Chances are, you’ll come across that modification in a yoga book one day anyway!

8. Be playful, and light, and joyous.

Make your practice fun because then you’re more likely to do it. Use music, if music’s your thing. Choose a beautiful spot to practice. Use lighting for mood. Keep a smile on your face. Hum a tune, or an om if that helps you relax your jaw. Use a mirror if that helps alignment. Pick a spot with a view of the ocean, if that helps concentration.
Practice just for the joy of it, and give thanks for having a body healthy enough to move freely. Take a moment before you start to just be grateful to yourself for taking the time to step onto the mat, to your day for offering space for you to step onto the mat, to the society you live in for allowing you to step onto your mat. Gratitude begets joy.

9. Make your daily home practice the one must-do of your day.

If your practice is your priority, it will get done because you’ll move everything else around in order to make it happen. Then there’s always room for yoga. Because with no expectations (see number one!) we know that ten minutes on the mat is oh-so worth it!
I mean, would you rather:
Watch TV, or play with yoga?
Cruise Facebook, or connect with yoga?
Sleep for an extra half an hour, or energize with yoga?
Gossip on the phone, or replenish with yoga?
Guaranteed, this will change your life. It will. No questions. No exceptions. No ifs. No buts. If you get on your yoga mat every single day, even if it’s only for ten minutes sometimes, your life will change. For the better, I promise you.

10. Be kind to yourself, and always, always, always get back on the mat.

There will be days, weeks, maybe even months when you and your home practice don’t see anything of each other. And that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you get out your mat, get on your mat and breathe.
That’s it. And see what happens next. It doesn’t matter that your last home practice was last week, last month or last year. What does matter is that you are practicing now.
And practicing now, with kindness for all the times you didn’t practice, will help you get back on the mat tomorrow and the day after.
Seven years after circumstances forced me to start a home practice (how I cursed the lack of a teacher then, and how I praise it now), I am grateful. So very, very grateful. Yoga has changed my life, because it has changed me. It has given me the tools to cut away the crap and banish the bullshit and dig up the dirt.
Results? A life that’s a whole lot clearer, more spacious, more joyous, more real and just plain… more.
There’s still pain, some suffering and lots of emotion. That stuff doesn’t go away, but it certainly becomes more and more bearable until you finally reach a point where even grief holds the tenderness of love within it’s embrace.
And that’s something worth getting on the mat for everyday.
Kara-Leah Grant is the author of Forty Days of Yoga - Breaking down the barriers to a home yoga practice, and the publisher of New Zealand’s own awsome yoga website, The Yoga Lunchbox. A born & bred Kiwi who spent her twenties wandering the world and living large, Kara-Leah has spent time in Canada, the USA, France, England, Mexico, and a handful of other luscious locations. Now back at home, and playing solo mum to her young son, she loves to stop, drop and practice - breathing, moving and dancing












Κυριακή 1 Δεκεμβρίου 2013

I’m So Glad We’re Not Friends Anymore.


Photo credit: Flickr/The Commons

The ending of a friendship can be heart-breaking.

Whether you were friends for three months or thirty years, the breaking of a friendship can be devastating—and it’s never typically easy, but sometimes breaking up can be the best thing you do for yourself and the other person. When things go wrong for a long period of time, when a friendship has become unhealthy and destructive, no matter how difficult it is, it could be time to make space for something new and nurturing.

10 signs it might be time for a friendship break-up:

1. Instead of being supportive and encouraging, the friendship turns critical, judgemental and condescending.
2. You feel uncomfortable or tense around the other person.
3. Conversations become more argumentative than not.
4. You notice that you’re trash talking the other person to your boyfriend/girlfriend and other friends.
5. You feel a loss of energy, anger or disappointment after spending time with the other person.
6. You constantly feel as if the other person brings out the worst in you.
7. You feel as if the other person’s bad mood becomes your problem and you start to live out that bad mood.
8. When you aren’t in touch or when you leave the other person, you feel a sense of utter relief.
9. You feel bullied or manipulated and are fearful to disappoint the other person.
10. You feel as if you can’t share your joy and happiness with the other person.
Perhaps by identifying if the friendships we have are meaningful or if they are just an obligatory unhealthy habit, we take a step toward creating a bit more positive space in our lives.

Have you ever broken up with a friend?

How did you know it was over?